Black SplatAnchorman (2004)

"You are a smelly pirate hooker...Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?"

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy - Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy

Description: Will Ferrell as newscaster Ron Burgundy insults a rival female broadcaster in the motion picture Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004).

"There was a time, a time before cable. When the local anchorman reigned supreme. When people believed everything they heard on TV. This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news. And in San Diego, one anchorman was more man then the rest. His name was Ron Burgundy. He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo. In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls." - Opening Narration

Ron Burgundy is a top-rated newscaster at KVWN-TV in the San Diego market of the 1970s. For years, he has been on the top of his game, a game dominated by male broadcasters. But, the times are a changing as Veronica Corningstone (Christian Applegate), a new female co-anchor with the Channel Four News Team has set her sights on being number one.

At first, Veronica is relegated to covering such mundane news events as the cat fashion show and cooking venues, but her ambitions to move up the ladder has both Ron and Veronica engaging in outrageous on-and-off-the-air conduct to prove their superiority. And while all of this is going on, two are handling romantic feelings for each other.

At one point Ron bribes the station announcer to modify his evening opening of the news by calling Verocinca "Tits McGee" (Announcer: You're watching Channel 4 News with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee.) Veronica quickly handles the incorrect introduction, saying, "Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation."

"Channel 4 News, with five-time Emmy-award winning anchor Ron Burgundy. Champ Kind, Sports. Brick Tamland, Weather. And your reporter in the field, Brian Fantana. It's the Channel 4 News at 6:00. Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy and here's what happening in your world tonight."

Veronica: My God, what is that smell? Oh.
Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire my lady.
Veronica: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food. Oh, excuse me.
Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people.
Station Employee: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
Station Employee: Smells like Bigfoot's dick!
Brian Fantana: [Acts casual and walk away] Woah, what's that smell?
Veronica: Excuse me.
Ron Burgundy: What are you doing?
Veronica: I need this machine so I can watch a tape for a story.
Ron Burgundy: I'm using the tape. I'm showing Jeffrey my Emmy tape. We are watching history.
Veronica: Mr. Burgundy, I'm a professional, and I would like to be able to do my job.
Ron Burgundy: Big deal. I am very professional.
Veronica: Mr. Burgundy, you are acting like a baby.
Ron Burgundy: I'm not a baby, I am a man. I am an anchorman.
Veronica: You are not a man. You are a big fat joke.
Ron Burgundy: I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.
Veronica: I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir.
Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker.
Veronica: You look like a blueberry.
Ron Burgundy: Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?
Veronica: Well, you have bad hair.
Ron Burgundy: [insulted] What did you say?
Veronica: I said...your hair...looks stupid. [Ron attacks Veronica]
Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.
Veronica: No, there's no way that's correct.
Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica: Doesn't it mean Saint Diego?
Ron Burgundy: No. No.
Veronica: No, that's - that's what it means. Really.
Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.
Ron Burgundy: [On a date] What are your hopes, What are your dreams, What are your passions?
Veronica: To be the first female anchor.
Ron Burgundy: And I'd like to be King of Australia. Seriously, you sound like an insane person.
Ron Burgundy: [off-the-air as the credits roll] You're a real hooker. I'm gonna slap you in public.
Victoria: You have way too much pubic hair.
Ron Burgundy: Actually, that's a point of pride. I'm very proud of my mane of oubic hair, so thank you.
Victoria: You have man boobs.
Ron Burgundy: You've got a dirty, whorish mouth, yes you have. I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.
Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica] I'm gonna shoot you with a BB gun when you're not looking. Yep, back of the head.
Veronica: [to Ron] Jazz flute is for little fairy boys.
Veronica: Excuse me, gentlemen, I want you to know that if Ron does not show up I am ready to go on.
Ed Harken: Sweetheart, you and I have had this discussion a million times. There's never been a woman anchor.
Veronica: Mr. Harken, this city needs its news. And you are going to deprive them of that because I have breasts? Exquisite breasts. Now, I am gonna go on, and if you want to try and stop me, bring it on. Because I am good at three things: Fighting, screwing, and reading the news. Now I've already done one of those today, so what's the other one gonna be? Huh?
Ed Harken: [thinks about it] Screwing?
Veronica: [Veronica slaps Harken] I will be in make-up.
Ron Burgundy: Wait, Veronica, please tell me this is some kind of sick tasteless joke.
Veronica: You weren't here. Why are you being this way? Why can't you just be proud of me as a peer and my gentleman lover?
Ron Burgundy: I can't believe you *did* this to me! You read my news!
Veronica: I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. I told you that.
Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding! I thought it was a joke! I even wrote it down in my diary, "Veronica had a very funny joke today!" I laughed at it later that night!
Veronica: I can't believe that I cared for you.
Ron Burgundy: Get out! Just go! We are through. Through! Because of your actions, you "scorpion" woman!
Veronica: You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy. You have broken my heart.
Wes Mantooth: [Rival news anchor] Hey nice clothes gentlmen. I didn't know the Salvation Army was having a sale.
Brick Tamland: Hey, where did you get those clothes? At the toilet store.
Wes Mantooth: What are you doing on our station's turf, Burgundy? You're
about to get a serious beat down.
Champ Kind:

I will smash your face into a car windshield and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.

Wes Mantooth:

[Hysterically upset] Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! Do you hear me?! Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!


Leave the mothers out of this, alright. Beside, I'm sure that Wes is just upset for finishing "number two" in the ratings again.

Wes Mantooth:

That's completely uncalled for, Burgundy. You know those rating systerms are flawed....[Ron Burgundy walks away] I hate you Ron Burgundy! I hate you!

Veronica: For the entire Channel 4 news team, I'm Veronica Corningstone.
Ron Burgundy: And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego

Note: In the comedy flick Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) a guy in a truck shouts at Steve the Pirate, and says, "Go back to Treasure Island!!! Fag!!! Screw you!!!"

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

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