"Sell crazy somewhere else!"
Description: Jack Nicholson as Melvin Udall tells a lady in his apartment building to "get lost" in the motion picture As Good As It Gets (1997)
Melvin Udall a romance novelist who lives in New York City. He is cranky, bigoted, obsessive-compulsive and homophobic. While his novels are popular, as a person he is very unappealing. For example, when a fan of his novels asks, “How do you write women so well?” He cattily responds, “I take a man. Then I take away all reason and accountability.”
"Police! Donut-munching morons" - Melvin
On another encounter, a female from his apartment building knocks on his door. As greets the woman with a rude demeanor, she begins to speak, but Melvin cuts her short, saying, “Where do they teach you to talk like this? In some Panama City 'Sailor wanna hump-hump' bar, or is it getaway day and your last shot at his whiskey? Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.” When Melvin hears a second knock at the door, he growls, "Oh now I'm pissed. Now I AM REALLY PISSED!"
"People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch." - Melvin
Things get even nastier when Simon Bishop (Greg Kinnear) Melvin's gay artist neighbor knocks on his apartment door. Melvin, rude as always, doesn't give a rat's ass about Simon or anything he has to say. All Melvin wants is be left alone. So Melvin takes the time to educate Simon with some door- knocking etiquette:
“Never, never, interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're going to faint. Even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudgepacker that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States and he's going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock. Not on this door. Not for ANY reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?”
Eventually, Melvin's personality mellows when he falls in love Carol Connelly (Helen Hunt), a waitress who works at the restaurant he frequents in Manhattan. Remembering their first encounter, Carol recalls, "When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome... and then, of course...you spoke." Melvin introduced his artist neighbor Simon Bishop to Carol with a simple phrase "Carol the waitress, Simon the fag." See, I told you Melvin is changing, but very slowly.
|Melvin::||I've got a really great compliment for you, and it's true.|
|Carol:||I'm so afraid you're about to say something awful.|
|Melvin:||Don't be pessimistic, it's not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I've got this, what - ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I *hate* pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I'm using the word "hate" here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never... all right, well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills.|
|Carol:||I don't quite get how that's a compliment for me.|
|Melvin:||You make me want to be a better man.|
|Carol:||...That's maybe the best compliment of my life.|
|Melvin:||Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.|
When Simon has to go the hospital, Melvin reluctantly cares for his tiny dog named Verdell. Over time, Melvin warms up to the little critter. But once, in a fit of frustration, Melvin shoves the dog down the apartment garbage chute, with the message, "This is New York, pal. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere!"