Description: One of many put-downs heard on the 1990s MTV cartoon show BEAVIS & BUTT-HEAD.
Beavis and Butt-Head are two pubescent and quite dysfunctional teenagers who watch rock ‘n’ roll videos from the comfort of their dilapidated couch, and criticize the performers and each other. A typical exchange between B&B follows:
|Butt-head:||Beavis is like a Chinese food, huh, huh! One hour
after he spanks his monkey, he’s ready again.
|Beavis:||No way, dillhole! It’s more like ten minutes. Heh, Heh.|
|Butt-head:||Your mom’s a whore.|
|Beavis:||No way. My mom’s a slut. She doesn’t charge for it.|
|Beavis:||Hey Butt-head, is it normal for the inside of your bunghole to itch?|
|Butt-head:||Beavis, it's not even normal to ask.|
|Butt-head:||Beavis, I told you I wasn't gonna let you touch the remote anymore. Now, give me that, buttknocker.|
|Beavis:||No, way. And stop calling me buttknocker!|
|Butt-head:||Give it here before I kick your buttknockering ass!|
|Beavis:||Stop calling me that, Butt-head! Stop it!|
|Beavis:||Shut up, Butt-head! Shut up! I'm gonna kill you, Butt-head! I swear to go God, I'm gonna kill you!|
|Butt-head:||You and what other buttknocker?
Some more examples of B&B brain-power:
- Always wear a condominium when doing it to a chick
- Eating makes you go to the bathroom
- Jail dudes get to watch TV all day
- If you have insurance, you can cut off your arm and get like, a million dollars
- Sports are stupid, ‘cause they make you exercise.
In an inspired moment, Butt-head shared this bit of information:
“The butt is the most important part of the body. God gave us the butt so we could, like, have something to talk about...inside the butt there’s all this complicated stuff that makes turds happen...the butt rules.”
B&B’s vocabulary included such phrases as:
- Adjusting the Set, Firing your squirt gun, Knuckling your knob, Spank your monkey, Squeezing out the toothpaste, Tuning the Antenna, and Walking the Log (Euphemisms for Masturbating)
- Shut up
- Dillweed (aka Dillhole)
- Fart Recycler (Converts fart gas to fuel for the poor people in the Turd World).
- Hey, Baby!
- Huh, Huh, We’re gonna score!...yeah, yeah.
- I’ll Kick Your Ass
- Loogie (Wad of spit)
- Nads (Testicle)
- Paranoids (the Pyramids)
- This Sucks!
- Thingies (Boobs)
- Wood (Erection)
- Wood Fairy (Boing! She makes the Wood)
- Wuss, (Wimp)
When Beavis drinks too much caffeinated coffee at a hip coffee bar, he pulls his shirt over his head, runs around the room drinking from other people’s cups and shouts, “I need cappuccino for my bunghole.”
Note: For a wicked read on these adolescent nin-cum-poops (“Hey, He said, ‘Poop!’”) read: “Beavis and Butt-Head's Ensucklopedia” by Sam Johnson, Chris Marcil, Guy Maxtone-Graham, Kristofor Brown, David Felton, Glenn Eichler and Mike Judge (MTV Books/Pocket Books, 1994).