"You ready to be fucked, man?"
Description - John Turturro as Jesus, a very angry bowler speaking to “The Dude” Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) in the motion picture The Big Lebowski (1998).
"You ready to be fucked, man? ...Let me tell you something pendejo, you pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash your piece out on the lanes, I’ll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger ‘till it goes click....Nobody fucks with the Jesus”
Jesus Quintana is a spitfire of an hispanic who takes his bowling very seriously. His rival on the lanes is "The Dude" Lebowski and his team partners, Walter Sobchat (John Goodman), a large gun-toting Polish Catholic Jewish-convert with anger issues, and Theodore Donald 'Donny' Kerabatsos (Steve Buscemi), a fellow bowling buddy.
Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski is a lazy, shiftless, booze-hound with long hair and a beard. He is a former author and protester. For recreation he likes to bowl, drive around and have the occasional acid flashback.
One day, two thugs, working for a guy named Treehorn enter Dude's apartment, urinate on his carpet and threaten him to payback some money. When the thugs observe Dude's shabby abode and then realize the Jeffrey Lebowski they are looking is a millionaire, they leave Dude alone.
But Dude is pissed and so he goes to the home of Jeffrey "The Big" Lebowski" (David Huddleston) and demands restitution for his damaged carpet since his property was damaged because of mistaken identification. The wheel-chair bound rich guy thinks Dude is an idiot and a loser and throws him out of his mansion.
Undeterred, Dude leaves but not before taking one of the man's fancy carpets by telling the man's assistant the his boss said it was okay to take any carpet in the house as payment for his inconvenience.
Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
|The Dude:||I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.|
|[The police chief hits Dude in the head with a coffee mug, and knocks his chair over] Stay out of Malibu, Lebowski. Keep your ugly fuckin' goldbrickin' ass out of my beach community.|
Later, the rich guy needs a dummy ("a sap") for a money drop off to get back his allegedly kidnapped wife. He remembers The Dude and hires him for the job offering him a lot of bucks.
In reality, there was no money in the suitcase and Dude was later blamed for stealing the million dollar ransom inside the case. The rich guy kept the money for himself, hoping that the kidnappers would kill his wife, who it turns out was just out of town.
For the rest of the film, The Dude, with the help of Walter and Donny, tries to rectify the misunderstanding - battling a trio of German Nihilist from Iowa who drop a marmoset into the Dude's bathtub while he was in it. One female in the group cut off her own little toe and sent it to the rich guy as proof of life.
In the end, the Nihilist confront the Dude and his friends. Walter takes out one with a bowling ball, and chews off the ear of another. Unfortunately, Danny dies of a heart attack in all of the commotion.
A few days later, Walter and Dude go the Pacific ocean with Donny's cremated remains. Removing the plastic container lid, Walter tosses Donny's remains into the wind - that blow back into their faces.
Earlier, Walter refused to pay $180 dollar for Donny's earn ("We must transmit the remains to you in a receptacle") so Walter purchased a large metal can of coffee from the local Ralph's supermarket and put Donny's ashes within.
When Dude returned to the bowling alley, Gary the bartender extends condolences for Donny's death. The Dude replies, "Some day you eat the bar. Some day it eats you."