"Prepare to Die, Peter Pan!"
Description: Dustin Hoffman as the evil Captain James Hook threatens his nemesis Peter Pan (Robin Williams) in the fantasy film Hook (1991).
"You know you're not really Peter Pan, don't you? This is only a dream. When you wake up, you'll just be Peter Banning - a cold, selfish man who drinks too much, who's obsessed with success, and runs and hides from his wife and children." - Captain Hook
Peter Banning (Robin Williams) is a corporate lawyer who pays more attention to his career than his family. One day, on a trip to London, he reunites with an old woman named Wendy (Maggie Smith) who aids orphans, as she once did Peter who was an orphan himself.
During their visit, Peter's two children Jack (Charlie Korsmo) and Maggie (Amber Scott) are kidnapped. A dagger stabbed into a note on a door reveals that pirate Captain Hook stole his children. Wendy tries to convince Peter that as a youth he lived in a place called Neverland as a boy named Peter Pan and battled Captain Hook, who now sought revenge.
|Captain Hook:||Peter. I swear to you wherever you go, wherever you are, I vow there will always be daggers buried in notes signed James Hook. They will be flung into doors of your children's children's children, do you hear me?|
|Peter Banning:||What do you want, old man?|
|Captain Hook:||Just you.|
Peter dismisses Wendy's story until Tinkerbell the fairy (Julia Roberts) abducts the grown Peter and takes him Neverland where he confronts Captain Hook who wants to fight Peter to the death. Tinkerbell makes a deal with Hook to train Peter so he will be an able foe in their duel to the death.
Soon after, Peter reunites with the Lost Boys, a group of parentless boys, who, at first, do not recognize him because he has grown up. But after one of the boys feels Peter's face and realizes it is indeed the Peter they once knew beneath all of the wrinkles and aged skin, they celebrate and have a banquet.
As they begin to eat, Peter complains about the lack of food. "There's nothing here!" he exclaims. "Gandhi ate more than this!" Rufio (Dante Basco), the leader of the boys since Peter's departure, then challenges Peter to an insult competition as the boys at the table cheer on both of them. As their insult fest reaches a fever pitch, Peter uses his imagination, which he had not used for years and wins the battle by defeating Rufio and conjuring up a table full of goodies to eat as a marvelous food fight ensues.
|Peter Banning||I want some real food. I wants some eggs, some steak, a cup of coffee.|
|Rufio:||Eat your heart out you crinkle wrinkle, fat pig.|
|Peter Banning:||You're a very ill-mannered young man, you know that.|
|Rufio:||You're a slug-eating moron.|
|Tinkerbell:||Come on, you can do better that that|
|Peter Banning:||I can't believe your are encouraging him.|
|Rufio:||You pusy bag bottom chuk face.|
|Peter Banning:||You are a very poor role model for these kids, you know...I bet you don't even have a fourth grade reading level...or maybe a fifth grade reading level|
|Rufio:||Boil-dripping, beef, fart-sniffing bubble butt!|
|Peter Banning:||Someone has a severe ca-ca mouth, you know that?|
|Rufio:||You are fart factory, Slug-slimed, sack-of-rat-guts-in-cat-vomit, cheesy, scab-picked, pimple-squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!|
|Kids:||[in unison] Ugh!|
|Peter Banning:||Substitute chemistry teacher.|
|Lost Boy:||Come on, Rufio, hit him back.|
|Peter Banning:||Math tutor.|
|Peter Banning:||Prison barber.|
|Peter Banning:||Nearsighted gynecologist.|
|Rufio:||In your face, camel cake!|
|Peter Banning:||In your rear, cow derrière.|
|Rufio:||Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig.|
|Peter Banning:||You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude.|
|Thud Butt:||[with the rest of the Lost Boys] Bangarang, Peter!|
|Rufio:||You... you man! Stupid, stupid man!|
|Peter Banning:||Rufio, if I'm a maggot burger why don't you eat me! You two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin' paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!|
|Don't Ask:||What's a paramecium brain?|
|Peter Banning:||I'll tell you what a paramecium is! That's the paramecium! It's a one-celled critter with no brain, that can't fly! Don't mess with me man, I'm a lawyer!|
|Kids:||[chanting] Banning! Banning! Banning!....|
|Peter Banning:||Oh, Rufio, why don't you just go suck on a dead dog's nose.|
In their final confrontation, Hook snarls, "Peter Pan, prepare to meet thy doom." Peter replies, "Dark and sinister man, have at thee." Sadly, as the Lost Boys fight the pirates, Rufio, the leader of the Lost Boys is killed Hook's sword, but Hook dies when he is crushed by a falling clock tower shaped like a crocodile.
|Captain James Hook:||Prepare to die, Peter Pan!|
|Peter Banning:||To die would be a grand adventure!|
|Captain James Hook:||Death is the only adventure you have left!|
With the battle won, Peter Banning (who has now learned to be a better father) leaves Neverland with his children and returns to London but not before making the largest member of the Lost Boys, Thud Butt (Raushan Hammond), the leader of the Lost Boys in his absence.
When Peter get back to London, Tootles, a former lost boy (now old and senile) who was adopted by Wendy years earlier, hears of Peter's adventures and is sad because he missed all of the excitement. But he soon discovers a bag of marbles filled with pixie dust that enables him to fly and return to Neverland to rejoin his friends.
NOTE: In the film, when Smee the pirate (Bob Hoskins) says "Goooooooood morning Neverland!" it is a reference to a phrase spoken by Robin Williams in the military flick Good Morning, Vietnam (1987).
The original "Peter Pan" story written by J. M. Barrie included only six Lost Boys (Slightly, Tootles, Nibs, Curly, and the unnamed Twins).