"You stupid, furry bucktoothed gits!"
Description: Sample of an insult heard on the British comedy MONTY PYTHON’S FLYING CIRCUS/BBC/1969-74.
The program consisted of a group of five zany Oxford/Cambridge graduates (Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin) and American artist, Terry Gilliam whom, inspired by the craziness typical of the British 1950s classic radio series THE GOON SHOW, created a program filled with blackouts, surreal skits, and irreverent humor which targeted virtually anyone in any position of power.
Amidst the utter confusion and insanity of their skits (“And now for something completely different...”) came a multitude of verbose put-downs and insults espoused by John Cleese. Some of his greatest insults:
- “You excrement! You lousy hypocritical whining toadies with your lousy color TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs.”
- “I unclog my nose in your direction...I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy-lover, second-hand-election donkey-bottom-biters!”
- “Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type makes me puke! You vacuous stuffy-nosed malodorous pervert!!!”
Monty Python's hilarity continued in a number of theatrical realeases. Here are some funny insults from those films:
In the Monty Python inspired motion picture And Now for Something Completely Different (1971), a compilation of the best skits from their ‘Monty Python’s Flying Circus’ series, Mungo the Cook (John Cleese) chastises two customers after they upset the manager by commenting on the service at the restaurant, namely, a dirty fork:
"You bastards! You vicious, heartless bastards! Look what you've done to him! He's worked his fingers to the bone to make this place what it is, and you come in with your petty feeble quibbling and you grind him into the dirt, this fine, honorable man, whose boots you are not worthy to kiss! Oh... it makes me mad... [Slams cleaver into the table] Mad! Stark, stirring... MAD!"
The punchline for the skit: "Lucky, we didn’t say anything about the dirty knife."
In the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) Neil Innes as a Medieval minstrel sings the praises of Sherwood Forest outlaw Robin Hood (Eric Idle). The lyrics:
"Bravely bold Sir Robin, brought forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to being mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes carved out, and his elbows broken. To have his knee cut split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head mashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off and his penis."
At this point Robin shouts, "THAT'S, that's quite enough, Minstrel."
When King Arthur approaches a castle, we see a French sentry (John Cleese) on the battlements looking done on the King, and saying, "You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you!...I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed, animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
In the biblical spoof Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979), Graham Chapman as Brian, a Jewish peasant living in Roman occupied Jerusalem during the time of Jesus Christ offers up a variety of ethnic nicknames: "I'm not a Roman, mum, I'm a kike, a yid, a heebie, a hook-nose, I'm kosher, mum, I'm a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud of it!"
Later in the film we get to see a Suicide Squad leader instructs his fanatical follower, "We are the Judean People’s Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack! [they all stab themselves] That showed 'em, huh?"
In Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983), The Grim Reaper, dressed in the traditional dark robe and hood arrives at a dinner party, and tells the guests they must follow him. When an American speaks, Death shouts:
"Shut up, you American! You Americans, all you do is talk, and talk, and say ‘let me tell you something’ and ‘I just wanna say‘. Well, you’re dead now, so shut up!"
When a British guy speaks, Death shouts, "Be quiet! Englishmen, you're all so fucking pompous, and none of you have got any balls."