"It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s Fritters."
Description: The demented tagline from the cult horror movie Motel Hell (1980) wherein Rory Calhoun as Farmer Vincent Smith waylays unsuspecting travelers and kills them for food.
You're driving down the highway. You need a place to stay for the night and so you pull into a motel and ask for a room. Motel Hello is such a place, but there's a problem. When guests check in, they don't check out.
Motel Hello (whose neon sign has a flickering letter "O") is owned by Farmer Vincent Smith and his younger sister, Ida (Nancy Parsons). They are known for making the best smoked sausage and people come from miles around to sample their wares.
"There's too many people in the world and not enough food. Now this takes care of both problems at the same time." - Vincent Smith
What’s Farmer Vincent’s secret sausage recipe? First, take a person, bury them in the ground
up to their neck, cut their vocal cord to prevent them from screaming, force feed them until
they get plump and juicy, slaughter them, smoke their carcasses and then grind their body
parts into pork sausage. As Vincent says, "It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's Fritters."
One day, as Vincent shoots out the tire of passing motorcyclists with the intention of planting them in his secret garden, he becomes smitten with the female passenger named Terry (Nina Axelrod) and nurses her back to health. However, Bo Tulinski (Everett Creach), the driver of the bike is plopped into the Smith's meat garden.
Meanwhile, Vincent informs Terry that Bo died and is buried on his farm. With no place to go, Terry takes up residence with the Smith's and soon Vincent sets out to marry the girl. The upcoming nuptials, however, have Ida jealous and she tries and fails to drown Terry.
Later, Bo manages to wriggle out of the ground, sets the other victims free who kill Ida and plant her head first in the ground. Then Bo searches for Terry who has been taken to the smokehouse to be killed because she has discovered the Smith's secret. He tries to overpower Vincent, but in his weakened state, Vincent easily strangles him.
Before Vincent can kill Terry, his brother Sheriff Bruce Smith (Paul Linke), who had been knocked out by Ida, comes to her rescue. Earlier Bruce had found dozens of abandoned cars in a pond near the motel, which clued him into his brother's horrific deeds. Bruce was fond of Terry and had warned her that Vincent had "syphilis on the brain."
In a climatic chainsaw battle to the death, Vincent wearing a pig's head challenges his brother in a blood-soaked slaughterhouse showdown.
With Vincent mortally wounded, Bruce saves Terry from the trauma of cutting metal blades and returns to his brother's side. As Vincent's demented world collapses, he laments being a hypocrite by using preservatives in his sausage.
With Vincent and Ida dead, the sign at the Motel Hello shorts out and goes forever dark.
|Sheriff Smith:||I was brought up here, you know. Now, I'm kind of glad I ran away from home when I was 11. I guess there's gonna be some kind of investigation.|
|Terry:||Why don't you just burn the place?|
|Sheriff Smith:||Burn it? You mean arson?|
|Terry:||I don't know. That's what I'd do. It's an evil motel.|
Note: The movie trailer narration for the comedy horror film Motel Hell (1980) follows:
"You may never again spend a night away from home after you spend a night with Ida and Vincent. Your most terrifying nightmare can't prepare you for what happens to the guests. One after another they come. One after another they check in...And pray for the day then can check out. You'll never forget Ida. And you'll never forget Vincent. And hard as you try you'll never forget their secret garden. If you have the nerve, come for a night and stay. Motel Hell...no one will be admitted after the guests check in."