Black SplatOverboard (1987)
   

"You are so goddamn bored, you have to INVENT things to bitch about!"

Overboard - Dean Proffitt yells at Joanna Stayton

Description: The angry but honest words of Dean Proffitt (Kurt Russell) as he growls his discontent to Joanna Stayton (Goldie hawn), a spoiled heiress in the motion picture Overboard (1987)

In the film, Joanna Staylon falls off her yacht, bumps her head on a garbage scow and gets amnesia while cruising the waters near a small Oregon town of Elk Cove.

Dean Proffitt (Kurt Russell), a local carpenter with a bunch of motherless kids comes forward to claims Joanna as his wife and then takes her to a broken-down home filled with loud, feuding children, who really, really need a mother.


   
Burbridge: Monday is their first day of school and I came here to WELCOME your family! And WHAT do I get in return? I get TOILET-PAPERED by your children! They were about to douse the toilet paper in GASOLINE and strike - !
Dean: Wait. Stop. Greg and Charlie are twins, right?..... They're goin' through this arson period. They don't know this, but I'm way ahead of them. I got two fire extinguishers ready to go. I didn't catch your name?
Burbridge: Adele Burbridge, principal of the Elk Cove School... Your children are MONSTERS!
   

Earlier, Joanna hired Dean to build a closet on her yacht, but the finicky Joanna complains about everything. Fed up, Dean tells Joanna, in no uncertain terms:

"You know what your problem is? You are so goddamn bored, you have to INVENT things to bitch about! You don't have a single thing to do on this earth except for your hair! The closet was fine, you just needed something to fill up your useless, nail-polishing, toe-polishing, rich bitch, sun-tanning days!"

Dean's tirade was so loud that yacht crew couldn't help but cheer. Consequently, Joanna left port without paying Dean for his work. So to get even, when Joanna falls overboard, he claims the amnesic "rich bitch" as his wife and whisks her away to a house full of unruly children.

Overboard - The Proffitt kids go wild

Dean leaves Joanna (now called Annie) alone with the children, only to return and find her babbling:

"I don't belong here, I feel it, don't you think I feel it. I can't do any of these vile things and I wouldn't WANT to. Oh, my life is like death. My children are the spawn of hell, and you're the devil."

Despite her initial reluctance, Annie begins to care for the children and when someone tries to put them down, she comes to their defense.


   
Annie: Mrs. Burbridge, would you come over here for a moment? Has it "escaped your attention" that these children have head to toe poison oak?
Burbridge: Well no, I... well yes, but...
Annie: But WHAT? My children are in need of medical assistance! And you can sit here and smugly lecture me on the importance of tests? Tests which exist to pigeonhole childrens potential, a thing which cannot "possibly" be measured, least of all by anal compulsive HUNS! And my husband may be a "large child," but that's none of your business! And my children may be rotten, but they're MINE. And I think that they're bright, and sensitive, so I have no doubts whatsoever about their intelligence. I do however have "serious" doubts about YOURS.
   

After Annie regains her memory, she decides to stay with her new family and the man she previously called "This missing link person."

Overboard - Annie lives happily ever after

When Joannie informs Grant Stayton (Edward Herrmann), her arrogant, pretentious snob of a husband about her decision to leave, he can't believe that she would choose that carpenter fellow over him, and shouts, "You haven't begun to be sorry, you hillbilly harlot!"


Overboard - Movie Poster


 
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