Black SplatThe Sandlot (1993)

"You play ball like a g-i-r-r-r-r-r-r-l!"

The Sandlot - Ham Porter tells off Phillips

Description: Patrick Renna as Ham Porter delivers the ultimate insult to a snooty rival baseball team player in the motion picture The Sandlot (1993)

The film follows Scotty Smalls (Tom Guiry), a new kid in the neighborhood who is tutored in the art of baseball by Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez (Mike Vitar) and soon becomes a member of his sandlot baseball team.

With his new found friends Scotty experiences such childhood adventures as sleeping in a tree house, eating smores (graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows), watching as a fellow kid fakes drowning to get a CPR kiss from a lovely lifeguard at the local pool, traveling to a fairground for a day of fun, and encountering a baseball-eating dog known as "The Beast" who lives on the other side of the sandlot where the boys play ball.

Whenever Scotty does something that upsets his team mates, they say, "You're killin' me Smalls."

  [Neighborhood arch-rivals face-off with The Sandlot Kids]
Phillips: It's easy when you play with rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
Benny: Shut your mouth, Phillips!
Ham Porter: What'd you say, crap face?
Phillips: You shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Ham Porter: Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!
Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
Phillips: We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Ham Porter: Watch it, jerk!
Phillips: Shut up, idiot!
Ham Porter: Moron!
Phillips: Scab eater!
Ham Porter: Butt sniffer!
Phillips: Pus licker!
Ham Porter: Fart smeller!
Bertram: [sniffs] Ahh.
Phillips: You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
Ham Porter: You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
Phillips: You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
Ham Porter: You play ball like a g-i-r-r-r-r-r-l! [the entire group is shocked]
Phillips: What did you say?
Ham Porter: You heard me.
Phillips: Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Ham Porter: Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!

NOTE: In the sequel Sandlot 2 (2005) set 12 years later and featuring a new batch of local kids, the latest arch enemy Singleton (Reese Thompson) calls the Sandlot Kids "Mental Retards." Defending his players, Mac McKing (Brett Kelly) tells Singleton, "You're a fart-sniffing, road-apple-chewing, scab-licking female dog!...You're ugly, your mama dresses you funny, you stink like toe fungus and you ride the short school bus!"

Singleton also learns a valuable lesson when David Durango (Max-Lloyd Jones) punches him in face for hitting Hayley, and says, "You never, ever hit a girl, you creep!"

The baseball-eating dog called "The Beast" in the first film is renamed "The Great Fear" in this sequel.

The Sandlot - Movie Poster

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