Description: Frequently used insult of Fred G. Sanford (Redd Foxx), a 65-year-old black junk dealer from Watts on the series SANFORD AND SON/NBC/1972-77.
Fred Sanford lives at 9114 S. Central Avenue in Los Angeles, California where he owns and operates a salvage yard with help of his grown son, Lamont (Demond Wilson). Fred refers to his son as "You Big Dummy."
Another person on Fred's insult list is his sister-in-law Esther (La Wanda Page) whom he has spent a lifetime abusing. Esther, in her defense, refers to Fred as an “Old fish-eyed fool” and "You fish-eyed heathen." She also likes to tell Fred to "Watch it, sucka!" and "Shut up, fool!"
Here are a series of Esther insults:
- “I’ve seen better faces on a can of dog food”
- "Two more legs and you could call her Trigger.”
- "Polly-Esther - that's you. Half woman, half parrot!"
- "All you got to do is enlist Esther in the Navy. And that way, you can have her face buried at sea!"
- "There's got to be some mistake. This is not my Lena, this is someone's hyena."
- [to Donna and Esther, respectively] " Here are my two most favorite characters from a fairy tale: Beauty and the Beast."
- [to Ah Chew and Esther] "My two favorite diseases in the same room. Yellow Jaundice and the Black Plague."
- "Excuse the mess. She was just leaving."
|Aunt Esther:||Who you calling ugly, sucker?|
|Fred Sanford:||I'm calling you ugly, I could push your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.|
|Fred Sanford:||Who is it?|
|Aunt Esther:||It's Esther!|
|Fred Sanford:||Esther who?|
|Aunt Esther:||You know Esther who! Open this door fool!|
|Fred Sanford:||I can't open the door!|
|Aunt Esther:||Why not?|
|Fred Sanford:||You too ugly!|
|Aunt Esther:||Fred Sanford, the wrath of God will strike you down.|
|Fred Sanford:||And this Louisville slugger will knock you out.|
|Aunt Esther:||Fred Sanford why is it every time I come over to your house you call me ugly? :|
|Fred Sanford:||Because I'm not the type to lie.|
|Aunt Esther:||Fred Sanford, you just a messy fool.|
|Fred Sanford:||And you just a sessy pool.|
|Aunt Esther:||Today is my lucky day.|
|Fred Sanford:||Why? Did you look at yourself in the mirror and it didn't break?|
|Fred Sanford:||Ester what are you doing here?|
|Aunt Esther:||What do you mean what am I doing here?|
|Fred Sanford:||Well Wolfwoman don't come out till there's a full moon.|
|Fred Sanford:||I brought you somethin' too, Esther.|
|Aunt Esther:||Why, that's nothing but a clear piece of plastic.|
|Fred Sanford:||No, it ain't. Put it up to your face. That's your Hallowe'en mask.|
|Lamont Sanford:||Would you like a drink, Aunt Esther?|
|Fred Sanford:||No, she wouldn't like a drink.|
|Aunt Esther:||Why wouldn't I like a drink?|
|Fred Sanford:||Because you "are" a drink... a Zombie|
|Aunt Esther:||Fred, I need your help.|
|Fred Sanford:||But, Esther, I'm a junkman, not a plastic surgeon.|
|Aunt Esther:||But, Fred, I need your truck.|
|Fred Sanford:||I agree. Son, take the truck and run over Esther's face.|
One of Fred’s biggest attention getters is his fake heart attack scenario. Grasping one hand across his heart, and the other one reaching for heaven Fred’s cries his signature plea, “Elizabeth, this is the big one...I‘m comin’, honey (a reference to his deceased wife). His heart condition, of course, is sheer subterfuge to get his son Lamont (Demond Wilson) and others to do things his way.
Note: Redd Foxx died of a real heart attack on 10/12/91. He had just begun starring in the sitcom THE ROYAL FAMILY/CBS/1991-92, about a retired postal carrier from Atlanta. On the 11/27/91 episode of the series, the show’s writers gave Foxx’s TV character, Al Royal a heart attack while he bowled at the Postman’s Bowling Tournament.