"Is this the Cocksucker residence?"
Description: Kathleen Turner as Beverly Sutphin makes a crank call to her nosey neighbor Dottie Hinkle (Mink Stole) in the motion picture Serial Mom (1994).
Beverly Sutphin lives in Baltimore with her husband, Eugene (Sam Waterston), a dentist and her two teenage children Misty (Rikki Lake) and Chip (Matthew Lillard).
A master homemaker, Beverly is very proud of her family and her household which she maintains in a meticulous fashion. She permits no gum chewing or vulgarity in her home. When her son Chip, says, "I'm so happy I could shit!" Beverly quickly reminds him, "Chip! You know how I hate the brown word."
Yes, Beverly is the personification of the classic 1950s housewife like June Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver. Each day, she puts on a smart- fitting dress and the goes to the kitchen to prepare a wonderfully health breakfast for the ones she loves. Freshly baked cookies are a common item in her house, and for dinner she makes a meatloaf that is to die for.
Now you would think that Beverly is the perfect woman. Loving wife, doting mother, but, well she does have one flaw. You see, Beverly is a serial killer. Hard to believe, but yes, it's true. While Beverly believes in an orderly family life, she just goes crazy when people act inappropriately or slight her in the least. Beverly also delights in taunting those who get on her hate list.
For example, when her neighbor Dottie Hinkle (Mink Stole) takes her parking space at the mall, Beverly begins sending nasty letters and obscene phone calls to Dottie's home.
|Beverly:||Is this the Cocksucker residence?|
|Dottie:||God damn you! Stop calling here!|
|Beverly:||“Is this 4215 Pussy Way?”|
|Beverly:||Now let me check the zip code. 2-1-2-fuck-you?|
|Dottie:||The police are tracing this call this very minute.|
|Beverly:||Well, Dottie Hinkle, then why aren't they here, huh, fuckface?|
|Dottie:||FUCK YOU! [hangs up]|
|Beverly:||Hahahahaha! [immediately calls her back]|
|Dottie:||DIDN'T I JUST SAY FUCK YOU?|
|Beverly:||[in a different voice] I beg your pardon?|
|Dottie:||Who is this?|
|Beverly:||Mrs. Wilson from the telephone company. I understand you're having problems with an obscene phone caller?|
|Dottie:||Yes, I am. I'm sorry, Mrs. Wilson. But this is driving me crazy! I've had my number changed twice already. I'm a divorced woman, please help me.|
|Beverly:||Well, what exactly does this sick individual say to you?|
|Dottie:||I can't say the words out loud, I don't use bad language.|
|Beverly:||Oh well, I know it's difficult but we need to know the exact words.|
|Dottie:||I'll try. COCKSUCKER, that's what she calls me.|
|Beverly:||[reverting to the original voice] LISTEN TO YOUR FILTHY MOUTH, YA FUCKIN WHORE!|
Parking lot faux pas are but one of the things that annoy Beverly. When she hears Mr. Stubbins (John Badila) a high school math teacher recommend therapy for her son at a PTA meeting because of his obsession with horror films, and that maybe Chip's problems may be a reflection Beverly's parenting skills, well, you know that Beverly just has to kill him. And so she does, by running him over with a car.
The following is a list of other people who got on Beverly's nerves:.
- When Carl Pageant (Lonnie Horsey) stands up her daughter on a date, she tracks him down and stabs him in the back with a fire poker as he does his business at a restroom at an indoor swap meet.
- Irritated that Betty Sterner (Kathy Fannon) had annoyed her husband, Eugene, Beverly sneaks into Betty's house, hides in bedroom closet and kills Betty with a pair of scissors. And for good measure, as her husband Ralph (Doug Roberts) runs out of the house, Beverly topples an air-conditioner on his head and kills him.
- For calling Chip "the son of Psycho" Mrs. Jensen, a customer who fails to rewind video tapes when she returns them to the video store where her son works is beaten to death with a leg of lamb.
- And using an aerosol can and lighter to create flame thrower Beverly kills Chip's friend, Scotty who never buckles up when he drives his car. Seeing his fiery demise, Scott screams, "No! Mrs. Sutphin, please! I'll wear my seatbelt!"
|Eugene:||Listen to this, [reading from the newspaper] "Hillside Strangler gets his college degree in prison."|
|Beverly:||That's nice, dear.|
|Eugene:||Nice? He should have been executed!|
|Misty:||He killed people, mom!|
|Beverly:||We all have our bad days.|
When Chip Sutphin hears rumors about his mother's activities, he asks, "Mom, are you a serial killer?" Beverly replies, "The only 'serial' I know anything about is Rice Krispies."
As it becomes evident that her mother is now a big news item, Misty remorses, "Now I'll never get a boyfriend!" When it is appears that Beverly truly is a serial killer, Birdie (Patricia Dunnock), a friend of the family asks Misty, "Hey, can I borrow your mother? My Aunt is coming for dinner and she's always getting on my nerves."
"All units: Serial Mom is headed South on Ceswick. Proceed with caution. She is armed and fuckin' nuts!"
Later, Birdie shouts, "You're bigger than Freddy and Jason now! Only you're a real person!" When Beverly asks, "Do you think I need a lawyer?" Her son, Chip says, "You need an agent!"
Arrested for the murder of the Sterners and other offenses, Beverly has her day in court, but slyly decides to fire her lawyer and defend the case herself which results in some amusing dialog when Dottie is sworn into testify against her "alleged" whacko neighbor.
|Beverly:||Mrs. Hinkle, do you drink?|
|Dottie:||No, I don't.|
|Beverly:||So you were not drunk when you received those allegedly obscene phone calls?|
|Dottie:||I certainly was not.|
|Beverly:||You mean to tell me the day I came over to Mrs. Ackerman's, the day you claim you recognized my voice, you were not drinking?|
|Dottie:||One beer with lunch is hardly drinking.|
|Beverly:||So you do drink?|
|Dottie:||Socially. I'll have a beer.|
|Beverly:||So you admit you just lied?|
|Dottie:||No I don't, you bitch!|
|Judge:||Watch your mouth, Mrs. Hinkle.|
|[Beverly whispers "fuck you" to Dottie]|
|Dottie:||Did you see that?! She just said "fuck you" to me!|
|Beverly:||Let the record show I'm merely standing here!|
|Dottie:||Fuck you too, you whore!|
|Judge:||I'm warning you, Mrs. Hinkle. One more obscenity and I'll charge you with contempt of court.|
|Beverly:||Mrs. Hinkle, are you insane?|
|Dottie:||No I'm not, you motherfucker!|
|Judge:||Mrs. Hinkle, I found you guilty of contempt, and I sentence you to a $1,000 fine and five days in jail.|
|Dottie:||You cocksucker! You lousy pig fucker! You bitch! You ugly whore! Let go of me!|
Acting as her own attorney, Beverly is able to destroy the credibility of all the witnesses who claim to have evidence against her. In the end, the judge declares Beverly not guilty and she heads home to her family who now are very afraid of their mother. They vow to "never get on her nerves" again.
Before Beverly leaves the courthouse, she tracks down Juror #8 (Patricia Hearst) who wore white shoes throughout the trial. During the trial Beverly had written the message "Juror #8 is wearing white shoes! AFTER Labor Day!" on a note pad.
Approaching the juror from behind as she chats on a restroom payphone, Beverly explains, "You can't wear white after Labor Day!" The woman disagrees, "That's not true anymore." Beverly persists, "Yes it is! Didn't your mother tell you? Now you know." As punishment for not taking Beverly's fashion advice, Beverly whacks the woman in the face with the phone and then kills her.
With her task done, Beverly calmly walks outside of the courthouse to greet her family and actress Susanne Somers who has been chosen to star in a television movie to be based on Beverly's exploits as Serial Mom. Suddenly, a scream is heard from the courthouse as the dead juror is found and everyone quickly learns that Beverly is back in business.