Black SplatThe Simpsons (1991- )

"Eat my shorts!"

The Simpsons - Bart Simpson "Eat my shorts!"

Description: The bratty retort of Bart Simpson, a dysfunctional 10-year-old juvenile delinquent on the adult animated cartoon THE SIMPSONS/ FOX/1990+.

Bart also likes to say “Don’t Have a Cow, Man!” He attends fourth grade at Springfield Elementary School, and he can often be seen writing repetitive chalk phrases on the blackboard during detention sessions after school. Some examples:

  • I shall not draw naked ladies in class.
  • My name is not Dr. Death.
  • Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
  • My homework was not stolen by the one-armed man.
  • I will not Xerox my butt.
  • I will not do that thing with my tongue.
  • I will not belch the national anthem.
  • I will not fake rabies.
  • I will not call my teacher “Hot Cakes.”
  • I will not make flatulent noises in class.
  • The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
  • I will not torment the emotionally frail.
  • I will not bury the new kid.
  • I will not call the principal “spud head.”
  • The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with “Hail Satan!”
  • There was no Roman god named “Fartacus”
  • I will not hide the teacher's medication.
  • SpongeBob is not a contraceptive.
  • Poking a dead raccoon is not research.
  • A booger is not a bookmark.

Besides shouting his signature catchphrases, “Eat My Shorts” and “Don’t have a cow, man!” Bart especially enjoyed telephoning Moe’s Tavern and having Moe the bartender page bogus customers whose names were practical jokes. Some typical phone prank exchanges:

The Simpsons - Bart Simpson makes a prank phone call
  Episode - “Some Enchanted Evening”
Bart: Hello, is Al there?
Moe: Al?
Bart: Yeah, Al. Last name: Coholic.
Moe: Lemme check...Phone call for Al. Al Coholic. Is there an Al Coholic here?
  Episode - “Moaning Lisa”
Bart: Is Jacques there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Jacques, last name Strap.
Moe: Uh, hold on. Uh, Jacques... Strap... Hey guys I’m looking for a Jacques Strap.
  Episode - “Principal Charming”
Bart: Hello, is Homer there?
Moe: Homer who?
Bart: Homer ... Sexual.
Moe: Wait one second, let me check. Uh, Homer Sexual? Hey, come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual!

  Episode - “One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish”
Moe: Hello, Moe’s Tavern. Birthplace of the Rob Roy.
Bart: Is Seymour there? Last name Butz.
Moe: Just a sec. Is there a Butz here? A Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz!
  Episode - “Flaming Moe’s”
Bart: Uh, yes, I’m looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass. First name Hugh.
Moe: Uh, hold on, I’ll check. Hugh Jass! Somebody check the Men’s room for a Hugh Jass!
  Episode - “Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk”
Bart: Uh, yes, I’m looking for a Mrs. O’Problem? First name, Bea.
Moe: Uh, yeah, just a minute, I’ll check. Uh, Bea O’Problem? Bea O’Problem! Come on guys, do I have a Bea O’Problem here?

the Simpsons - Moe gets a prank phone call

Note: In the film Grumpy Old Men (1993) Walter Matthau as Max Goldman uses Bart Simpson’s signature insult “Eat My Shorts!” to put-down his old friend John Gustafson (Jack Lemmon).

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