"Eat my shorts!"
Description: The bratty retort of Bart Simpson, a dysfunctional 10-year-old juvenile delinquent on the adult animated cartoon THE SIMPSONS/ FOX/1990+.
Bart also likes to say “Don’t Have a Cow, Man!” He attends fourth grade at Springfield Elementary School, and he can often be seen writing repetitive chalk phrases on the blackboard during detention sessions after school. Some examples:
- I shall not draw naked ladies in class.
- My name is not Dr. Death.
- Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
- My homework was not stolen by the one-armed man.
- I will not Xerox my butt.
- I will not do that thing with my tongue.
- I will not belch the national anthem.
- I will not fake rabies.
- I will not call my teacher “Hot Cakes.”
- I will not make flatulent noises in class.
- The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
- I will not torment the emotionally frail.
- I will not bury the new kid.
- I will not call the principal “spud head.”
- The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with “Hail Satan!”
- There was no Roman god named “Fartacus”
- I will not hide the teacher's medication.
- SpongeBob is not a contraceptive.
- Poking a dead raccoon is not research.
- A booger is not a bookmark.
Besides shouting his signature catchphrases, “Eat My Shorts” and “Don’t have a cow, man!” Bart especially enjoyed telephoning Moe’s Tavern and having Moe the bartender page bogus customers whose names were practical jokes. Some typical phone prank exchanges:
|Episode - “Some Enchanted Evening”|
|Bart:||Hello, is Al there?|
|Bart:||Yeah, Al. Last name: Coholic.|
|Moe:||Lemme check...Phone call for Al. Al Coholic. Is there an Al Coholic here?|
|Episode - “Moaning Lisa”|
|Bart:||Is Jacques there?|
|Bart:||Jacques, last name Strap.|
|Moe:||Uh, hold on. Uh, Jacques... Strap... Hey guys I’m looking for a Jacques Strap.|
|Episode - “Principal Charming”|
|Bart:||Hello, is Homer there?|
|Bart:||Homer ... Sexual.|
|Moe:||Wait one second, let me check. Uh, Homer Sexual? Hey, come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual!|
|Episode - “One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish”|
|Moe:||Hello, Moe’s Tavern. Birthplace of the Rob Roy.|
|Bart:||Is Seymour there? Last name Butz.|
|Moe:||Just a sec. Is there a Butz here? A Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz!|
|Episode - “Flaming Moe’s”|
|Bart:||Uh, yes, I’m looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass. First name Hugh.|
|Moe:||Uh, hold on, I’ll check. Hugh Jass! Somebody check the Men’s room for a Hugh Jass!|
|Episode - “Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk”|
|Bart:||Uh, yes, I’m looking for a Mrs. O’Problem? First name, Bea.|
|Moe:||Uh, yeah, just a minute, I’ll check. Uh, Bea O’Problem? Bea O’Problem! Come on guys, do I have a Bea O’Problem here?|
Note: In the film Grumpy Old Men (1993) Walter Matthau as Max Goldman uses Bart Simpson’s signature insult “Eat My Shorts!” to put-down his old friend John Gustafson (Jack Lemmon).