"Get down off the cross, honey, someone needs the wood."
Description: Irreverent recommendation given by Chicago radio talk show host Dr. Shirlee Kenyon (Dolly Parton) in the motion picture Straight Talk (1992)
Fed up with her boyfriend, Shirlee Kenyon leaves her small town life and heads to the Windy City in search of happiness. Arriving in Chicago, Shirlee gets a job as a receptionist at WNDY radio where one day she is asked to cover for the host of a radio call-in program who fails to arrive at work. Shirlee's first day on the job is such a success that she is hired on the spot. To give her more credibility, the owners of the radio station slap Shirlee with the bogus credentials of a Doctor of Psychology. Hence, "Dr." Shirlee Kenyon is born.
While on the air, Shirley delivers such down-home phrases as:
- Tinkle or get off the potty.
- It doesn't hurt you face to give a smile!
- I’m busier than a one-legged man in a butt kickin’ contest.
- Money is made to be spent. What goods it doin' in the bottom of my panty drawer?
- Never try to dye your own hair and dont walk on wet grass in high heels!
- Cheatin' is like playing two games of pool; you got the balls, but you're gonna wear out your stick.
|Dr. Shirlee:||Why even the Declaration of Independence only guaranties life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It doesn't say anything about fair. Doesn't even say you have the right to be happy. Just to pursue it.|
|Caller:||But no one appreciates me, and I try to be fair, and they don't...|
|Dr. Shirlee:||Get down off the cross, honey, somebody needs the wood!|
When reporters begin to sniff out her background, they discover Shirlee is not as learned as her "doctor" title suggests, but Dr. Shirlee's success is not based on her college credits but her common sense and her ability to read people and give them practical advice.
As one of the reporters pressures Shirlee to reveal where she received her training, she says, "I'll tell ya, at Screw U."
Note: In the western film Gunfight at O.K. Corral (1957) lady gambler Laura Denbow (Rhonda Fleming) objects to Wyatt Earp’s (Burt Lancaster) moralizing, and says, “Why don’t you buy yourself a new halo? The one you’re wearing’s too tight.”